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Thursday, July 23, 2009

Being Ridiculed About Twin Pregnancy Symptoms

I'm sorry, I just have to post this. I hope I don't offend anyone by it. I apologize if I do.
I recently have been the subject of ridicule on a twin forum site, I no longer am a member of this site needless to say. The ridicule had to do with a blog I had on how to conceive twins, I have since deleted this blog because of the ridicule. I started the blog mainly for those women whom have been pregnant with multiples but only delivered one baby or no babies at all. From reading the many twin/multiple forums I realized that some of these women that suffered such lose were and are still hoping and praying to become pregnant with multiples again. I have the utmost compassion for these woman, especially since I know how special it is to carry, deliver and raise twins myself. I would not suggest to anyone to try anything that would put them or their babies lives in jeopardy, I was only suggesting natural ways to conceive twins. I researched the many ways that are believed to contribute to conceiving twins and I relayed these ideas and/or suggestions on the blog.
It's one thing to ridicule or belittle someone for supplying a blog of sort, but to ridicule someone about the symptoms that they had while pregnant with twins is another story. I have never belittled any woman for sharing her twin pregnancy symptoms and I honestly didn't think that I would be treated this way for sharing my symptoms with others. My symptoms were real and true, at least for me. What these woman must have forgotten is that every pregnancy is different, even for the same woman.

Here are some of the responses by these women to some of my symptoms and my response to them:

1. Morning sickness at five weeks was very severe and intense (intense migraines, multiple times daily for 3 weeks straight)

Their responses..........
1. I HAD SEVERE MORNING SICKNESS W/ MY SINGLETON SON STARTING AT 5 WEEKS

2. Okay my m/s sucked ass but so did my friend's who was having one baby.

3. Nope, in fact my m/s is a lot better this time around. I'm queasy but have only run to the bathroom 1x and then it was dry-heaving (sorry if TMI); with DD I was throwing up before I was 5 wks pg.

My response to them:
That's great, those were your symptoms during your twin/multiple pregnancies. Mine were severe earlier in the pregnancy, that being totally different from my singleton pregnancies.


2. Migraines starting at 5 weeks and lasting 3 weeks straight (1-2 times per day)


One of these women is a nurse and she made light of the migraines I suffer while being pregnant saying "TRUE MIGRAINES DO NOT COME AND GO 1-2 TIMES A DAY"!!!
To this I respond....I have suffered migraines since I was 6 years old (and don't tell me you can't have them that young, as I was diagnosed by my doctor), so I do know what a true migraine is and I know what a true migraine feels like! While pregnant (all three of my pregnancies), I suffered migraines. They were different with every pregnancy that I had. The migraines started in my 3rd trimester while pregnant with my son and with my daughter the migraines started at the end of my 2nd trimester. The migraines continued in these pregnancies until I gave birth. Medication worked during my pregnancy with my son, but not so much when I was pregnant with my daughter. With my twin pregnancy the migraines began at 5 weeks and continued during the whole pregnancy. I know what it feels like when a migraine is coming on and I did have 1-2 migraines on some days. When I get the signs before the migraine (numbness, tingling, aura), I know a migraine is coming. This did happen more than once a day, and it wiped me out for days on end! Explain that nurse! Oh since you aren't a neurologist I don't really think you have the answers, so I'll stick to the specialist on that subject, thank you. During pregnancy all rhyme and reason goes out the window concerning the frequency and triggers for migraines.

Their responses........

1. TRUE MIGRAINE A DOESN'T COME AND GO 1-2 TIMES A DAY...TAKE IT FROM SOMEONE WHO HAS HAD MIGRAINES SINCE THE AGE OF 8...THEY TYPICALLY LAST FOR HOURS ON END...AND IF IT TRULY WAS 3 WEEKS LONG OF A REAL MIGRAINE I SUSPECT YOU WOULD HAVE SEEN THE DR.

2. Nope, no migraines at all

3. Nope, no migraines at all



My response:
I didn't say my migraine lasted for 3 weeks straight, I said I had migraines for 3 weeks straight. And yes I did see a doctor, lots of visits to the emergency room and to my neurologist. And they all confirmed I was suffering from migraines! I have suffered from migraines from 6 years old and they are more severe and frequent during pregnancy for me. I do know what a true migraine is and I have been diagnosed at a very young age. Unlike you, I feel for anyone who may suffer from a migraine. You are probably like the nurse I met in the emergency room that called my migraine "just a headache"! Apparently, SHE doesn't know what a "true" migraine is. I do!


For those of you who don't or haven't suffered from migraines, you are fortunate.


3. Extremely tender breasts.

Their responses..........

1. Not a sign of twins....just a sign of pregnancy

2. Nope

3. Yes, but so did my friends and family who had one baby.

My response:
My tender breasts early on was totally different from my singleton pregnancies.

3. Extremely Tired

Their responses..........

1. NOT A SIGN OF TWINS....JUST A SIGN OF PREGNANCY

2. What does this mean anyway? Is this just subjective?

3. Yes in the first tri. Feel better now that I'm in the second tri.

My response.....
I've read of many women who were pregnant with multiples say how much more tired they felt with their multiple pregnancy vs. their singleton pregnancy. I sure was.


5. Exhausted

Their responses..........

1. SAME THING AS YOUR "EXTREMELY TIRED"

2. How is this different than being tired? And yes this is true for me.

3. Hmmmm isn't this the same as tired?

My response.....
Here are dictionary definitions of tired and exhausted.

Tired: drainded of strength and energy: fatigued often to the point of exhaustion

Exhausted: to tire extremely or completely

Exhausted is taking tired to the maximum. So, yes there is a difference between being tired and being exhausted.

6. Constantly hungry

Their responses..........

1. NOT A SIGN OF TWINS....JUST A SIGN OF PREGNANCY

2. I actually have no appetite: same that happened w/DD (dear daughter)

3. I am always hungry, that explains my fat a$$

My response.....
Again, this was a symptom for myself and many women pregnant with mulitples that was more intense than with a singleton pregnancy. And again, every pregnancy varies.
As for #3's response, I wonder why she felt the need to leave such a comment.


7. Last but not least....I had a strong gut feeling I was carrying two babies

Their responses..........

1. SO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT HAVING A STRONG GUT FEELING MEANS YOU HAD MORE THAN ONE IN THERE? HOLY CRAP- THEN I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO...BECAUSE I DIDNT BELEIVE I WAS HAVING TWINS...SHOULD I GIVE ONE BACK?

2. Nope, I thought I wasn't even pregnant.

My response......
I did have these feelings from the day I found out I was pregnant. As a matter of fact I kept thinking I was going to have twins at least 6 months prior to becoming pregnant with my twins.

I have read of many women who had strong feelings that they were carrying more than one baby and they found out that they were. These are unexplained feelings, but real nonetheless.
How can these women responding here take those feelings that we had and make fun or light of them?!!! Just because they didn't experience these feelings doesn't mean they weren't real for those of us who had them. I'm sure they must have had some strong feelings about their pregnancies one way or another. I wouldn't suggest that their feelings were meaningless.


And few more symptoms that may indicate twins/multiples:

1. Weight gain earlier in pregnancy

Their responses..........

1. Nope

2. Nope

3. No, I am not even sure I've gained enough yet.

My response....
Again every pregnancy is different. This was different with my twin pregnancy vs. my singleton pregnancies.
This symptom was reported as being different with their twin/multiple pregnancy.


2. Feeling movement earlier than expected

Their responses..........

1. NOT A SIGN OF TWINS! FEELING MOVEMENT EARLIER THAN EXPECTED JUST MEANS YOU ARE IMAGINING THINGS- FETAL MOVEMENT ISNT FOUND UNTIL THE SECOND TRI- SOMETIMES IN THE 12TH WEEK

2. Nope

3. I've felt nothing yet (about 16 weeks)

My response....
I felt fluttering early with my twin pregnancy vs. my singleton pregnancies. Many women pregnant with twins/multiples have reported feeling movement early on. I don't believe these women were imagining things. Just because you (#1) didn't feel movement earlier doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

3. Family history of twins

Their responses..........


1. Yes, but I was on Gonal-F as well.

2. Yes and I also took clomid. OB never suspected twins!


3. You are correct on this ONE thing.

My responses.....

To #1....I can't believe twins or multiples didn't cross your mind since you were taking a "follicle stimulating hormone".
Here's a link for more information on "Follicle Stimulating Hormone"

To #2....As well, you were taking a drug to stimulate ovulation. I can't believe you or your OB didn't even suspect a multiple pregnancy could be a possibility.
Here's a link for more on "Clomid type drugs"

To #3...And once again, every pregnancy is different for each woman. These symptoms are mine! My twin pregnancy symptoms were very different from my singleton pregnancies.

I just don't understand why some people feel the need to leave such rude comments about symptoms someone else may be experiencing.


And here is a response by someone that is just plain ridiculous (the part about "or maybe mine just aren't real twins?"

"The only thing I really had was fatigue. But I had been pg before and it wasn't any different than those times (with singletons). ALL of these symptoms are for PREGNANCY and aren't an indicator of multiples.
Or maybe mine just aren't real twins?"

I realize that every woman has different symptoms with each pregnancy. I just wanted to share the symptoms that were different with my twin pregnancy vs. my singleton pregnancy. I'm in no way trying to say that these symptoms indicate that you or anyone IS/ARE pregnant with twins/multiples.



6 comments:

mrscharming said...

I absolutely cannot believe you were ridiculed for your personal experience! I have had a tremendously difficult pregnancy now that I'm pregnant with the twins, unlike with my first. While it is my belief that pregnancy sucks in general, this has gone beyond sucking! I am SO SORRY people treated you that way!

I'm a random who saw your blog off of a comment you'd made on the "Got Twins?" babycenter site!

:) Srsly though--sry these women are so mean!

Anonymous said...

OMG--I am having migraines the same as you--I am 16 weeks and still having them--they started at 8 weeks--i have had them since i was 12--but this is the worst ever--they come and go during they day, but each one lasts 5 days or so. Your symptoms are very much like mine--also I am having twins. I have had to go to ER and get narcotis a few times because the pain was shooting my blood pressure to dangerous levels--it is scary and I feel guilty for taking meds.

Darla said...

I found out I was having twins at 6weeks and I'm 12 weeks now.. I'm sorry you wanted to share your pregnany and got so bashed by dumb people who don't understand.. I have two boyz that are 6 and 4 and I've NEVER was this tired In my pregnancies. I've been having really bad nausea any suggestions?I have been getting headaches too. I would respect and appreciate your advice. Thanx

Maggie said...

I see this post is an older one, but I, too, am so sorry you were bashed. Honestly, I try to only comment positive things, and who were they to tell you that you didn't know your own body. Silly women, that's what I say...I am eight weeks pregnant with baby #4, and wondering for no reason in particular if I might be pregnant with twins. Peace!

There's Only One In There, Right? said...

Maggie...

I agree, if you can't be positive, don't comment then!
I don't get where people think they know other people's bodies and situations just because it doesn't compare to their pregnancies. I know what migraines are, I've had them since at least 6 years old and was finally diagnosed at 9 years old. So, nobody can tell me I'm not having a migraine when I know I'm having a migraine, not even a nurse!!! One nurse just rolled her eyes at me and said, "it's only a headache"...WTF!! Obviously you've never had a migraine! That's like saying "your labor pains are only period cramps! Ha!!
Every body is different, and every pregnancy is different. All mine were, that's for sure!
With my twins my symptoms started at 5 weeks, they were so much worse, and way sooner than with my other two pregnancies. And the migraines started at 5 weeks....those were killer to deal with throughout the whole pregnancy.
I just had a feeling I was having twins for some reason...that feeling was so true and nobody can take that away from me, no matter how much ridiculing I get, it was a real feeling.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry people were so mean!!! They sound like cowardly bullies!!! I too suffer from migraines early in pregnancy. Blessings to you!!!

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